Community Guidelines
These are not rules. They are a promise.
Qindred was built for people who know what it feels like to navigate the world without your people. Who spent years in rooms where they couldn't fully exhale. Who found chosen family late, or are still looking, or lost it somewhere along the way. And for those who found their people early and know exactly how much that has meant.
Whoever you are and however you got here, the table was built for you.
Which means the table has to be genuinely safe. Not performatively safe, not a rainbow flag on a corporate website safe, but the kind of safe where you can say the thing, be the version of yourself that only comes out around the right people, and trust that everyone else at the table is holding that same space for you.
These guidelines exist to protect that. To make sure that every person who comes to a Qindred dinner can arrive as their whole self and leave feeling more restored than when they walked in.
We ask every member to read them not as a list of things you cannot do, but as a shared understanding of what we are all here to build together.
Gather. Belong. Grow. Restore. Serve.
These are the five things we believe happen when you find your people. They are also the five things every Qindred member commits to making possible for everyone else at the table.
Gather
There is a version of you that only comes out around the right people. The one that laughs too loudly, says the thing, doesn't have to explain the reference. The one that stopped apologising. Come as that person. That's who we built the table for.
Belong
You didn't imagine it. The loneliness was real. The years of almost-but-not-quite were real. And so is this, a place where you don't have to earn your seat. It was always yours.
Grow
The people who see you change you. Not by asking you to be different, by making it safe to become more of who you already are. That's what happens at the table. Slowly, then all at once.
Restore
What it cost you to get here, the years of navigating, concealing, performing, surviving, that has a weight to it. Community doesn't erase it. But it starts to lift it. That's not a metaphor. That's biology.
Serve
Show up. Be present. Hold space for the person across the table whose story you don't know yet. Chosen family isn't something you find, it's something you build, together, one Wednesday at a time.
What we ask of every member
Qindred works because every person at the table is genuinely trying to make it a good experience for everyone else. That doesn't require perfection. It requires presence, respect, and a willingness to hold space.
If this is your first dinner, you're allowed to arrive nervous. Everyone at the table was new once. You don't have to have it figured out. Just show up.
Come as you are
The whole point of Qindred is that you don't have to perform. Leave the version of yourself you present to the rest of the world at the door. Use the name and pronouns that are yours. Let others do the same. The table doesn't need anything else.
Show up for others
If you've confirmed your place at a Wednesday dinner, your tablemates are expecting you. Give at least 24 hours notice if you can't make it so your place can go to someone who can. Life happens and we understand that. What we ask is that you let us know.
Arrive on time
The dinner starts when everyone is at the table. If you're running late, message us so we can let your table know. Arriving significantly late changes the dynamic for everyone already there.
Be curious, not assumptive
Every person at the table has a story you don't know yet. Come with genuine curiosity rather than assumptions. Ask questions. Listen. Let people tell their own story in their own time and in their own words.
Hold what's shared with care
People may share things at a Qindred dinner that they haven't shared widely. What's said at the table stays at the table. Don't share other members' stories, identities, or personal information outside of Qindred without their explicit consent. This includes knowing someone is a Qindred member at all. For some people, that alone says something about their life that isn't yours to share.
Ask before you touch, ask before you photograph
Before hugging, touching, or photographing another member, ask. A quick ask takes two seconds and means everything to the person you're asking. Not everyone is out in all areas of their life. Not everyone wants to be photographed. Respect that without needing to understand it.
Receive with generosity
If someone shares something vulnerable with you, resist the urge to fix, advise, or compare. Ask what they need. Follow their lead. Sometimes the most generous thing you can do is simply be present and let it land.
After dinner, follow the other person's lead
If you'd like to stay in touch with someone you met at the table, that's what Qindred is for. But not everyone is ready to connect straight away, and that's equally fine. Follow the other person's lead. Let it breathe. The right connections have a way of finding their footing.
In Qindred's digital spaces
Bring the same warmth and respect you would to the dinner table into any Qindred channel, whether that's WhatsApp, email, or anything else we build. No unsolicited messages, no pressure, no assumptions about what someone is looking for from the community.
If you have accessibility needs
If you have any accessibility or dietary needs, let us know before your dinner at hello@qindredcommunity.com and we will make sure the venue works for you.
If you have thoughts, share them
Qindred is being built in real time and the people best placed to shape it are the members living it. If something isn't working, if something could be better, if you have an idea, we genuinely want to hear it. Email us at hello@qindredcommunity.com. You are not just a member. You are a co-author of what this becomes.
What we will never tolerate
Some things are not grey areas.
Anyone who makes another member feel unsafe, diminished, or unwelcome will be removed from Qindred immediately and permanently. No warnings. No appeals. No exceptions.
This includes how you treat people at the table, how you treat people in any Qindred channel, how you treat venue staff, and how you use information you've gained through being part of this community. It includes what you do at events and what you do outside them. If your conduct outside of Qindred is incompatible with the values of this community, we reserve the right to act.
We don't need a comprehensive list. We trust our members to know the difference between behaviour that builds this community and behaviour that threatens it. And we trust ourselves to act decisively when that line is crossed.
One exception to that. Membership of Qindred is personal and non-transferable. Every member is verified individually. Sharing your membership, passing your details to others, or bringing unverified guests into the community is a serious breach and will result in immediate removal.
If something doesn't feel right
Trust that feeling. You don't need to be certain. You don't need to have experienced something severe. If something felt off, we want to know.
If you're at a dinner and something happens in the moment, message us directly on WhatsApp. You will get a human response within 24 hours. If you feel unsafe and need to leave, leave. Your safety comes first, always.
If something happens after an event, email us at hello@qindredcommunity.com. Tell us as much or as little as you're comfortable sharing. We will take every concern seriously and handle it with care and confidentiality.
We will never ask you to justify your experience. We will listen, we will act, and we will follow up with you directly.
What happens next
When a concern is raised we respond within 24 hours. Every report is handled with confidentiality and care.
Where the behaviour is serious, the member responsible is removed immediately and permanently.
Where the situation is less clear, we will use our judgement, speak to the people involved with care and fairness, and decide what's right for the community. We will always follow up with the person who raised the concern.
We are not here to punish. We are here to protect the table.
In the unlikely event that Qindred closes or materially changes its offering, we will notify all members directly and handle any outstanding subscriptions fairly.
The table is yours
We know what it took some of you to get here. The years of navigating rooms where you couldn't fully exhale. The friendships that were almost but not quite. The loneliness that sat quietly alongside a perfectly functional life.
We built Qindred because chosen family changes things. Not just how you feel on a Wednesday evening, but how you move through the world. Who you become when you're finally around the right people.
Every person who sits down at a Qindred table is someone who deserves that. Including you.
Take care of each other. Show up. Be the person someone else has been waiting to meet.
The table is yours.